


Unattainable

by fandomshere_fandomsthere



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Soulmate AU, thank God for Dan Avidan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2016-10-24
Packaged: 2018-08-24 11:36:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8370805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomshere_fandomsthere/pseuds/fandomshere_fandomsthere
Summary: Sometimes the name on your wrist is someone out of your reach.





	1. The Name

**Author's Note:**

> I love soulmate aus and I love Barry.

            The day you turned sixteen, your left wrist began to burn and itch. You had known it was coming. Your mother gave you a special cream to put on your wrist that dulled the itching and cooled the burning, but you still scratched at it absentmindedly. A few of your friends who were older than you already had the names of their soulmates on their wrists, written in the blocky letters of a typewriter. You could hardly focus in class while you waited for your name to appear, not because it hurt, but because you were curious. You hoped it was Matt, a boy you’d known most of your life, who had clear blue eyes and a smile bright enough to power solar panels.

            Three days later, the burning faded and the itching stopped, and you looked at your wrist, your heart pounding in your chest and your hands shaking with anticipation.

            _Barry Kramer._

            You couldn’t help but be a little disappointed. You tested the name, and it rolled off your tongue like you were born to say it. You supposed you were. The name echoed in the darkness of your room, and you felt your stomach twist at the sound of it. Barry. Barry Kramer. Your mouth twitched into a small smile. The initial disappointment you’d felt was gone, replaced with excitement. It still bugged you that you didn’t already know your soulmate, but you also knew you’d meet him someday. You glanced at the clock and swung your legs off of your bed to get ready for school.

            You didn’t meet Barry that year. Or the year after that. You tried not to let it bug you, but a lot of your friends had met their soulmates already. You didn’t lose hope. Plenty of people didn’t meet their soulmates until they were well out of college. Even though you told yourself this, you still felt a little bitter whenever you saw someone walking across campus with their fingers laced together. You smiled when your roommate excitedly told you that she’d met her soulmate in the student union earlier, listening to her gush about how the world seemed to stop spinning for a moment when he introduced himself after tripping over her laptop cord and almost sending it crashing to the ground.

            “You’ll find yours soon,” she assured you. “Don’t worry.”

            Soon was a relative term, you found out.

            Another year passed and you were in your sophomore year of college. You’d taken to wearing long sleeves no matter what the temperature was so you didn’t have to look at the name on your wrist. You had the same roommate as you did last year. She and her soulmate were engaged now. You were still alone. You’d had a couple relationships, flings that didn’t last long, in an attempt to fill the empty space you felt in your heart, but if anything it made it worse.

            What really helped you was your roommate, who you could now call your best friend. She took your mind off of your situation. At first she had been hesitant about talking to you about wedding plans, but you had reassured her that you were happy for her. And you were. You helped her and her fiancé deal with the stress of planning a wedding during college. She was the best friend you’d ever had, and while you hadn’t met Barry, you knew this girl was your platonic soulmate.

            One day you came into your dorm greeted by the sound of her laughter. She was sitting on her bed, her legs crossed and her laptop resting on top of them, a huge grin spread across her face. She scooted over and patted the spot next to her, and you plopped down beside her, legs stretched out in front of you and head on her shoulder as you watched someone play Mario 64 on YouTube. Soon you were laughing too—whoever was playing was terrible at it, and the laughter bubbling out of the speakers was contagious. When the episode was over, your roommate told you that the people playing the game were the Game Grumps, a group of YouTubers. At your insistence, the two of you continued watching their playthrough of Mario 64 and laughed until your sides ached.

            Your roommate had a study group meeting in the library later that day, and so you were left alone in the dorm. You glanced at your backpack. Your English professor had assigned a lot of homework, but it wasn’t due for a few more days, and you had the whole weekend to do it. After a minute of internal debate, you took your phone out of your pocket and found the Game Grumps channel on YouTube, too lazy to go over to your bed and get your laptop. You scrolled through the seemingly infinite number of videos, trying to decide which one to watch. You decided on a newer playthrough and settled back against the pillows with a small smile on your face.

            “Barry, could you—”

            All of the air whooshed out of your lungs, and you missed the rest of Dan’s sentence. You stared at your phone with wide eyes. You must have misheard him. He couldn’t have just said Barry. And even if he had, surely the Barry at Game Grumps wasn’t _your_ Barry. Your stomach twisted in the same way it had when you’d first seen the name on your wrist, and you tugged your sleeves down, hiding the corner of a letter that had been peeking out at you. You shook your head and went back to watching the video, but you were distracted.

            Finally, curiosity overcame you. You closed out of YouTube and opened your phone’s browser, your hands shaking. You typed “barry game grumps” into the search bar and tapped on the first result that showed up, his page on the Game Grumps Wiki. At the top of the page was a quotation from him, and underneath the short sentence was his full name: Barry Kramer.

            You burst into tears.


	2. One-Sided

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, hoping just hurts too much.

            Initially, you refused to watch the videos Barry was in. You didn’t want to know what his voice sounded like. You’d closed his page on the Grumps wiki before his picture could load. You didn’t want to know what he looked like. It would just make everything harder. It would just hurt more. You didn’t tell anyone about your discovery.

            Of course. Of course this had happened to you. You’d heard of instances like this a few times, when someone’s soulmate was someone famous or ridiculously out of their reach. People always talked about those unfortunate individuals in hushed tones, with pity and sadness in their voices. More often than not, soulmates like that were one-sided; people with the celebrity’s name never met them, or if they did, they discovered that the celebrity had someone else’s name. It always hurt.

            This was the case for you. You were fated to have a one-sided soulmate, and it hurt more than anything you could have imagined. You longed for the days when you were young and stupid and believed that someone out there had your name on their wrist. That they would look at it and smile, running their thumb over the words, their heart aching with longing for you. You wished a different name had appeared on your wrist.

            Eventually, curiosity won over, and you watched the first episode of Undertale, which Barry and Ross were playing. The moment you heard Barry’s voice, your breath hitched and your heart swelled. Your stomach twisted itself into knots, and tears stung at your eyes. The feeling only increased when you ventured over to GrumpOut and saw him for the first time. Your heart ached with longing. You wanted nothing more than to reach through the screen and hold his bearded face in your hands, look into his eyes, and lose yourself in his smile. You choked back a sob and closed the YouTube app.

            You swallowed down your heartache. It got easier the longer you did it, and before you knew it, your roommate was married and you had graduated college and you found yourself living in a small city in New York. You hardly looked at your wrist anymore. You focused on your work and let love drift to the back of your mind. You satisfied your longing for Barry by watching Game Grumps and his editing tutorial, and you were happy. For the most part.

            Six months after you graduated from college, your roommate called you. She was talking excitedly, words tumbling past her lips so quickly that you could barely register what she was saying. You made out that she’d gotten tickets to a convention in California and that her husband couldn’t go, so she was inviting you. You happily accepted, and a month later, the two of you boarded a plane and flew across the country.

            You were overwhelmed by the number of things there were to do at the convention. There was a vendors’ room, a place for people to sell fan art, panels everywhere, and a room dedicated to video games. The two of you hadn’t made any solid plans for what you wanted to do, so when you got there, you got a schedule. Your roommate practically squealed when she saw that the Game Grumps were going to have a panel later that day, with a signing right after. Your stomach did flips as you realized that there was a possibility you would meet Barry.

            You and your roommate ended up walking around for a while, marveling at the cosplays you saw and buying a few pieces from artists. You had a poster tucked under your arm that you wanted the Game Grumps to sign. It was all of them drawn as cats in a huge cuddle pile, with “Cat Grumps” written across the top in their special font. You absentmindedly pulled the sleeves of your hoodie down so they’d cover your wrists.

            The time for the panel came, and you pushed your nervousness aside. You were here to have fun, not worry about your soulmate. You got seats in the middle of the large room and joined in the cheering that erupted when the Grumps came on stage. Arin, Dan, Suzy, Ross, Barry, even Brian—they were all there, smiling and waving at their fans. They sat down at the long table, and the panel started. You tried not to stare at Barry. You really did. But you couldn’t help it. Even from this far away, he was beautiful. The panel flew by with a lot of laughter and shenanigans, and soon it was time for the signing. Ross, Barry, Suzy, and Brian weren’t there, however. You didn’t know if you should be disappointed or relieved. You figured they’d opted out of the signing to spend some time enjoying the convention.

            Arin and Dan smiled brightly at you when it was your turn to go up, and you smiled back, feeling a little nervous. These two men had helped you through rough times in your life, keeping you laughing and smiling and distracted, and you had no idea what to say.

            “Hi!” Dan said brightly.

            “H-hey,” you offered.

            “What’ve you got for us?” he asked.

            “Oh! Right right,” you mumbled. You could hear your roommate giggle behind you as you got the poster out.

            “Cats, nice,” Arin said as he signed the corner.

            “Who do we make it out to?” Dan asked. You gave him your name, and he froze for a split second before going back to his normal, easy demeanor. “How do you spell that?” You told him, and he took the poster from Arin to sign it. You made small talk with Arin as Dan wrote something down. Words came more easily than you thought they would, and while you were still a little jittery, you weren’t nearly as nervous as you had been before. They both gave you hugs, which were warm and tight, and told you it was nice to meet you before you stood off to the side to wait for your roommate.

            While she was talking to Arin, you noticed Dan staring at you. You bit your lip and fidgeted nervously, unsure of what to do. His gaze flitted downward for a split second, and you followed it to your pocket. Putting two and two together, you reached into your pocket hesitantly and took out a small, folded piece of paper. You opened it and glanced up at him, but he was busy chatting with your roommate.

            _Come meet me in the lobby of the convention hotel at seven,_ the note read. A blush spread across your face. You looked back up at Dan, and he winked at you. Your lips twitched into a small smile as the heat in your face doubled. Did he just—? No. No, there was no way he was implying what you thought he was. This was Dan Avidan, for God’s sake, the subject of the fantasies of countless women. There was no way he was showing interest in you. You would have been lying if you said the thought didn’t make your heart stutter, though.

            Your roommate came over to you, and you glanced at Dan—who was still smiling at you—one last time before heading off.


	3. The Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Expectations aren't always the same as reality.

            Seven o’clock rolled around, and against your better judgement, you were sitting in a chair in the lobby of the hotel that the convention was taking place in. You’d swapped your worn jeans and hoodie for a newer pair of black jeans and a tightly knit, light blue sweater. Your knee bounced with anticipation. You had gone over the possibilities in your head of what Dan could have possibly wanted, and the only thing that came to mind was sex. Why else would he have slipped something in your pocket when he’d hugged you after talking to you for—what? Five minutes?

            Your eyes scanned the lobby, looking for Dan. Your heart jumped in your throat when you saw him step out of an elevator, followed by—

            Barry? What was he doing here? Oh God, Dan must have seen the name on your wrist. Panic began to buzz through you. What was this about? Did he want you to meet Barry so you could be humiliated? No, Dan wasn’t that cruel. You took a deep breath to calm yourself and raised your hand in greeting when Dan saw you, a large smile on his face. Barry made eye contact with you, and you felt yourself begin to melt. His smile was smaller, more subtle, but it made your heart pound.

            “Hey!” Dan said as he approached you, and you stood up. He turned to Barry and gestured towards you with one hand. “This lovely here really wanted to meet you. She was awfully disappointed when you weren’t at the signing.” You looked at him incredulously. You hadn’t even mentioned Barry.

            “Sorry about that,” Barry said, drawing your attention. “We just wanted a little free time I guess.”

            “No, no, I get that,” you said. Your tongue felt like lead. It was hard to speak.

            Barry smiled at you and stuck out his hand. “I’m Barry. But, uh you know that don’t you?” You chuckled, and he smiled sheepishly.

            “It’s nice to meet you,” you said. You told him your name as you shook his hand, trying not to flinch as his skin met yours. His hand was warm and soft and much bigger than yours, and the feeling of it sent tingles down your arm. You moved your gaze from your joined hands to his face, your brow furrowing slightly. Barry was staring at you, eyes wide, face completely blank with shock.

            “S-say that again?” he said. You repeated your name slowly, and a huge grin broke out across his face. Without another word, he rolled down the left sleeve of his flannel and held up his wrist for you to see. You had to read it a few times to make sure that you weren’t imagining things.

            “It’s you,” Barry whispered. His smile faltered. “Please tell me you have my name on your wrist.”

            You smiled and pushed your sleeve down as you held up your hand, and then Barry’s large arms were wrapped around you, crushing you in a bear hug. You laughed and returned the embrace. You felt the weight of years of heartache being lifted off your back. Barry fit against you perfectly, and he was holding you so tightly that you could feel his heartbeat. You fisted your hands in his purple flannel and buried your face in his shoulder, and you felt tears sting your eyes when he gently carded his hand through your hair.

            “Holy shit,” Barry breathed as he pulled out of the hug. “I was starting to wonder if I would ever find you.” He looked around for Dan, who you noticed wasn’t there. You weren’t surprised—the meeting of soulmates, though it often happened in public situations, was a very private thing. Barry saw Dan looking at the giant fish tank by the front desk and flashed him a grin. Dan returned it.

            “Told you it was important, didn’t I?” he called.

            “Yeah,” Barry laughed. “Thank you. Seriously.”

            “No problem, Bear,” Dan said. “I’m gonna head back up to the room. You two have fun!” He smiled at you and Barry before going back to the elevators. You watched him go with a fond smile. He’d helped you through tough times before, but that was nothing compared to this. You turned back to Barry, who was looking at you like no one ever had before, his smile so tender and his blue-green eyes so soft that you felt like your heart would burst.

            “How long have you known?” he asked. “Did you even know it was me?”

            You nodded. “I did. For almost four years. I thought it was one-sided. I never—I never thought I’d even _meet_ you, let alone—” A tear rolled down your face as your voice died in your throat, and Barry wiped it away gently with his thumb.

            “Well, here I am,” Barry said. “Do you want to grab dinner or something? I just—I can’t wait to get to know you.”

            Your smile felt too big for your face as you nodded, your throat too tight for you to speak, and Barry took your hand gently. Your fingers laced together perfectly, and you felt like you were sixteen again, looking at the name on your wrist with a mixture of excitement and nervousness. There would be complications, you knew. You and Barry lived on opposite sides of the country, and you were only going to be here for two more days, but none of that mattered at the moment. You were focused on Barry, the sound of his voice, the gestures he made when he talked, and how his eyes practically glowed when he smiled.

            Your heart had never felt so full.


End file.
